Its Official I'm A Medium!

 

This next entry entails experiences from different days and could potentially get pretty lengthy. With that being said, I’m going to skip a long-winded introduction and jump right into my first medium experience.  Each day has a “snapshot” (this is the term I use because any time anything spiritual/intuitive happens I vividly remember my surroundings).

Snapshot #1: I woke up for work just like every other day; however, my anxiety was out of control.  I tried to ignore it and continue on getting ready for work.  I stalled as much as I could to leave.  Why was I having such intense anxiety today? I had an overwhelming “bad” feeling.  I texted Jeron and told him about my anxiety and explained I had a “bad” feeling.  He told me everything was fine and that I should just try to relax and go to work.  After stalling as long as I could, I left for work.  At the time, I only lived about 8 minutes from work.  The closer I got to my work the more intense the anxiety became.  When I was 1 block from work sitting at an intersection, I looked up to the sky, it hit me “death”.  Death… someone died or is going to die.  I texted Jeron, again he tried to soothe me and tell me everything was going to be okay. However, if you’ve read my previous blog entry you can understand why such a feeling would make me a bit uneasy. I continued to work. I got in the elevator and rose to the 6^th floor.  I exited the elevator and paced the hallway.  This energy was coming from my office and the closer I got to it the more overwhelming it became.  I finally told myself “okay, I either need to say screw it and go back home or just try to tough it out and go in… I can’t pace the hallway all day.”  It took everything in me to walk down that corridor towards my office and towards this unsettling feeling. I went straight to my office to set my stuff down.  I glanced down the hall and noticed my coworker’s door was closed and her lights were off? I thought, “Hum, that’s odd, she always gets here before me?”  I walked out to the reception desk and asked my colleague, “where’s D?” (I’m keeping names private.) She pulled me to the side, out of site from the waiting area.  She responded, “D’s son A died, they found his body in the river this morning.” I stood there shocked, but then almost like someone hit a light switch, my anxiety was gone.  This was the energy I was picking up on, this is why I was anxious, and this is the death I had sensed.  I texted Jeron and told him of the news I had just learned.  He was shocked and saddened as well.  He also responded, “now, I believe you” I guess he got the “proof” he finally needed.  He was finally apart of the process of one of my experiences.

Snapshot #2: Not long after A had passed away, I was up late one night.  Let’s be honest, I’m up late every night.  I’m a night owl at heart! I decided to head to bed.  I went and did my bathroom routine and headed down the hall towards my closed door.  I turned off the hall light and went to open the door.  After it was open and I started to enter, I was stopped dead in my tracts with the feeling that someone was standing right in front of me.  I jumped back against the wall and flipped on the light, I saw nothing.  I went into my room, still feeling a presence. I turned on a small lamp and then went and turned off the hall light.  I got into bed and started repeating things like “go away” and “I don’t want to communicate”.  After about 10 – 15 minute the feeling of a presence finally subsided.  I feel this may have been A trying to communicate with me.  I wasn’t ready yet…

Snapshot #3: Months went by and it was scheduled to be another normal day at work. However, I woke up early by my phone ringing.  It was a co-worker calling to tell me that D was having a bad day dealing with her son, A’s death.  They called me because I was very close with D and we also worked on the same medical test together.  I quickly got up and started to get ready.  Then, it started, the anxiety was sinking in… here we go again.  I left for work and the closer I get the more intense the anxiety became.  However, knowing that a friend was in need, I was trying to overlook the uncomfortable feelings it was inflicting.  I arrived at work and headed straight to her office, she is in tears.  She explained that a situation unfolded that involved her dog and this event was brining up old feelings of guilt and remorse linked to A’s death.  I stood their trying to comfort her, but the energy that was now in me was so bad that I felt as if I was going to vomit or pass out.  I had to get away from this feeling, it was coming from being near her, and I had to leave.  I quickly went to another co-workers office and asked if she could cover for me.  I told her I was going to be sick.  I left work.  I then immediately knew A was there and that’s what I was picking up on.  I arrived back home and sat feeling AWFUL about leaving so abruptly. I was thinking things like, “How could I leave at such a time?” and “I need to be there for D right now.” Then, out of nowhere I heard, “Its not her fault.” “I’m okay now.” “I love you”.  After hearing those things I’m pretty confident I made some sort of facial expression to this nature. (picture below)       

My next immediate thought, “Umm, so do you text or call someone with that kind of information?”  Ha! I called her; I could hear she was still crying.  I told her why I had left and I told her how I came home and was simply sitting thinking about how guilty I felt for leaving when I suddenly received a message from A.  I told her, “He wants me to tell you, it’s not your fault, he’s okay and that he loves you.” She started crying even harder. She asked some questions and I tried to comfort her as best I could and then it happened again and I heard, “stop replaying it”.  I asked her, do you replay what happened in your head? She replied tearfully, “Yes! All the time.” I said, “Well, I just heard, stop replaying it”.  We finished talking and we both suddenly felt better.  She felt more at peace and my anxiety had now fully subsided.  How beautiful is that? That experience alone makes me want to do this for people as much as possible. 

 I should mention that a couple nights prior to this happening, I decided I was ready to communicate.  I was lying in bed talking to my spirit guides, God, anyone who was listening really. I said, “A, if you want me to tell your mom anything, I try my hardest to listen and deliver the message to her.”  I guess he was listening. He did a great job and I thank him for the blessed experience.

Snapshot #4: Not much time passed before I had another odd occurrence.  I was at work talking with D and her daughter.  We were discussing A, we talked about him on a regular basis and typically I was calm and unfazed with conversing him or his passing.  This day was a little different.  The 3 of us stood in a back office talking about mediums and A.  I asked D, “What questions would you ask if you went to a medium?  You can try to ask me, I don’t know that I can or know how to get responses right away but I’ll try.” Without hesitation she started “I want to know if he went down there on purpose?”  I verified, “You mean, you want to know if he went to go commit suicide?” She replied, “Yes.” I said, “okay, yeah…” Urgently she questioned, “He did!?”  Not realizing how my generic response came across I immediately clarified “Oh, NO, that wasn’t my answer, I meant continue on with your questions, and I’ll ask him.” Relieved, she started to ask her next question but before she could even finish, it was interrupted and I heard, “No.”  I told her what I felt/heard. She began to move on to a question that had to do with autopsy results and things she was questioning in the report and suddenly I was flooded with energy.  My face flushed, my heart was racing, and I was extremely hot.  I immediately started to fan myself and I said “Oh my gosh, I am so hot all of a sudden.” D and her daughter stared at me with shocked looks on their faces.  Her daughter then said, “Your face just turned really red out of nowhere.”  I said, “I have to get out of here.” I got up quickly and walked away from D and her daughter.  I didn’t leave work completely I just left the area in an attempt to get away from what created this feeling.  After about 15 or 20 minutes passed, the energy had subsided enough that I could go talk to D and her daughter.  We discussed what had just happened, I apologized for abruptly leaving.  I tried to explain the feeling that will suddenly consume me when, what I believe is a spirit, tries to channel or communicate with me. The girls were very understanding, especially knowing my history of experiences and now having witnessed something unexplainable first hand.

On a final note, I spoke with another more experienced medium and she stated “when a child is trying to channel or communicate with a parent, the energy can sometimes be very intense, almost as if there is a sense of force or urgency to make contact, so anxious feelings are not uncommon.” She also had no doubt in her mind that it was indeed A trying to come through.  I liked it better when spirit gives me the words vs. the feelings! Ha ha!  I guess I just need to continue to learn how to interpret that energy rather than run away from it.

All I can say for sure is this is my truth, my journey, and its time to journal it.  

(For more information about me, see the "About Me" tab)  

Predicting The Future - Passing Over Installment

I thought predicting car accidents was strange, but little did I know that was just the beginning of my intuitive prophecies.  Ha Ha!  Over the years, my experiences have been pretty spread out. However, during my college years things started becoming a little more frequent, still unexpected though.  You may also notice, the more I share, it’s not one single thing that just keeps happening over and over, it's a buffet of different experiences.  I was discussing some of my experiences with a more 'seasoned' intuitive and they enlightened me to the idea that the reason my experiences have been so spread out and different in  nature was to slowly ease me into this gift without scaring me.  Can you imagine if all this stuff just happened in one day, week or month!? I would be terrified! This explanation made sense to me and felt “right” to my inner knowing. 

So, what were my next predictions? Well, they were on death. It sounds scarier than it is, I assure you. I realize how dark that may seem but I think these were preparing me to become more comfortable with the idea of death, with spirits, and with my intuition.  

Snapshot #1: It was February 2007.  I was in college and living in an apartment. My mom came to town to stay with me because I was scheduled to get my wisdom teeth surgically removed.  We woke up bright and early, since my appointment was one of the first ones on the doctor’s schedule. I tend to get pretty anxious for such things, so my mind was occupied with what was about to take place. Like most people, when you first get up you go to the bathroom, so that’s what I was doing.  I was sitting there doing my business, being a little nervous about my surgery when it hit me “Blank & Blank’s mom is going to die today”. (keeping the names private).  I finished my business and was a little confused about what I had just picked up on, I remember walking to the sink and thinking, “I hope I’m wrong”.  I tried to brush it off as a random negative thought even though it felt like I was just given a matter of fact.  I continued on to my appointment.  After, I was all healed up and started talking to my friends again, I spoke to another one of my guy friends and he told me that the boy’s mom did indeed pass that exact morning at their home.  From my understanding it happened just a couple hours after I sensed it. 

Here’s a brief background to this story. The boys were/are my friends, we went to high school together and even hung out after high school.  However, we live in different towns and haven't stayed in touch as much as I'd like.  Their mom fought cancer for years and always proved doctors wrong on their time estimates.  She was also a dental assistant at my dentist office.  So, I had the privilege to meet her when she was still well. However, when this all happened I hadn’t spoke to either of the boys in quite some time, so I didn’t have any current updates on how their mother was doing.  Jeron and I did go to the funeral.  I don’t know why I sensed her passing right before it happened.  I can say that if she ever came to me with a message for her boys, I would make sure they got it.  As I write this, I feel like I can feel her energy.  

It didn’t take long for this phenomenon to happen again. 

Snapshot #2:  It was now August 2007.  It was a warm sunny day and I feel like I can still see what the clouds looked like in the sky. I was driving eastbound on the Dodge expressway. I was listening to music minding my own business.  Right about when I passed the Cox Communications building (locals will know the area I’m describing) it hit me, “Jeron’s grandpa is going to die today”.  This was hard information to receive because I didn’t know whether to share it or not.  Jeron and I had only been together for a couple years at this point.  I had shared some of my stories with him and he didn’t not believe me, because he knows I’m not a liar or fabricator but he's still a, “I need to see it to believe it” type of guy.  He was working when I got this feeling and I didn’t want call him up at work and panic him, especially since this had only happened to me once before.  I decided to not call him.  A few hours later, Jeron was off work and at Verizon getting a new phone.  During that time his mom called me and told me she couldn’t get a hold of him but needed to so she could let him know that his grandpa had just passed.

Here’s a brief background to this story.  Jeron’s grandpa had been in the hospital, however, no one thought he was going there to pass away.   Even Jeron’s brother has mentioned that he thought their grandpa would leave the hospital. I have asked Jeron now, “If I would have called you at work and told you what I sensed, would you have left to go see him?” and he says, “yeah!”  Like they say, hindsight is always 20/20.  At that time, I wasn’t fully embracing and accepting these events, so to have someone doubt them or question me didn’t exactly make me want to rush and share unexplainable experiences.  I also have a strong faith that the way things play out all has a greater purpose and understanding than what we can grasp. So, in a nut shell, I believe if Jeron was meant to be there when he passed, he would have been.  On a side note, sometimes people/souls (not always) will wait to cross over until they are alone and feel like they can let go freely.

I have another story about sensing death, however, this next one the spirit actually channeled through me and I had a series of special events with this spirit, so I will save that for a blog entry of its own. 

All I can say for sure is this is my truth, my journey, and its time to journal it.  

(For more information about me, see the "About Me" tab)  

Predicting The Future -Car Wreck Installment

I don’t have a crystal ball, I don’t wear scarves on my head, I don’t sit in a dark candle lit room with potions, and I have no clue what the hell was going on with Raven in the Nickelodeon show “That’s So Raven”.  However, if you subtract all these bizarre stereotypes I can explain the less TV worthy version of my experiences in predicting future events.

The first premonition I ever had was when I was sixteen.  Ready for the “snapshot”, here it comes.  I was driving southbound on Clarmar Street, before you hit the dips, near the crosswalk light.  (If you’re from the booming metropolis known as Fremont, you know exactly what I’m describing.)  I was driving in my 1998 Chevy Malibu with my friend Jenny.  We were listening to Bone Thugs In Harmony, because obviously we are hardened gangsters and enjoy connecting with our roots. Ha! We were just going “cruising” like all sixteen year olds.  Suddenly, out of nowhere, it hit me.  I blurted, “We’re going to get in a wreck together.”  Jenny looked at me and immediately put her seat belt on and responded with a half-smile and an apprehensive “what?” I kind of chuckled and said “Well, I don’t think right now or anything, but I just have a feeling were going to get in a wreck together?” We continued to drive around and made it home safely.  The feeling lingered with me, but never experiencing such a thing before I didn’t really give it much attention… until the next week.

DING!!!!! School was out! Kids were scrambling to their lockers to ditch their books and escape the premise.  Jenny and I shared a locker and being that I was one of the oldest in my class and first to drive, I would give her a ride home everyday.  I vaguely remember having to go back to my locker because I forgot something.  I went running back out to the parking lot and we got in the car.  I checked the mirrors, thought I was clear so I started backing out and then CRASH, my car and another car collided. Nothing too major, my bumper was a little messed up and the other persons front fender and driver door were smashed in, but everyone was okay. 

After it was all done, my “feeling” was gone.  Was it a car totaling type crash? No, thank God it wasn’t.  What if I wouldn’t have gone back to my locker, the timing would have been off.  Would we have gotten in a different wreck on a different day? I don’t know I guess I’m not supposed to know and that’s what just what fate and timing are all about, not knowing the timing or why. 

I have had this happen a total of 4 times now.  After my experience with Jenny it happened a couple years later.  However, now I drove a GMC Sonoma, a cute little red truck.  This time I was driving down 23^rd Street.  I was by myself when the "knowing" hit me. 

Before I continue let me briefly explain when I say, “it hit me”, I mean it literally, it’s like information is being put into your head out of nowhere.  I always explained it as feeling like information is flying into the right side of my head, right above my ear. At least that's how I experience it. (This description becomes very interesting and validating for me when proof of such phenomenon is discovered.  Details to this will be in a future entry.)  Now, back to the story. 

It hit me “I’m going to get rear-ended”…  OH GOD! Panic! Okay, stay calm just be a defensive driver, you’ll be fine.  So, for 2 weeks I drove like a grandma, constantly checking my rear view mirrors and gradually breaking up to lights and stop signs.  In addition I would tap my breaks as I crept up to these intersections… I wanted my break lights to act like light show at a rave! FLASH! FLASH!  FLASH!  ATTENTION, I AM STOPPING! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!  After 2 weeks of torturous paranoid driving it finally happened.  I was going to my then boyfriend’s house, before a football game.  Second snapshot:  I was driving northbound on Broad street, a one lane each way street, with no turn lanes.  The whole time driving there the feeling felt more intense, however, at this point of having it linger for 2 weeks I was beginning to attempt blowing it off.  I was approaching 20^th street, getting ready to make a left hand turn, which meant I needed to turn across the oncoming traffic lane. I put my signal and came to a rolling stop, while I waited for the line of cars to pass so I could turn behind them.  Instantly, I got, “right now”… I looked in my rear view mirror saw a truck flying towards me with a semi behind him, with not enough time to move out of the way, all I could do was close my eyes and wait for impact. That fraction of a second felt felt like slow motion. BOOM!  The truck hit me, luckily the semi driver was paying attention and was able to go around.  I still have neck problems to this day and I because I insisted I was fine, I didn't go to the hospital, I now have paid thousands of dollars in chiropractors for that bad decision.  Tip: Always go get checked out if you’re in a wreck.  You may not feel the pain at the time because of the adrenaline but even if you wait until later that day, just GO! I waited months until my neck was so jacked up I was getting migraines and by that point it was too late to prove it was due to the wreck.   Lesson learned!

The next time would be a few years later, now I was in college, living in Omaha with my roommate Laura. I was now driving a GMC Canyon. My family has a farm about 45 minutes outside of town.  After a day of playing with family at the farm, I was ready to head back into the city. But, I couldn’t leave because you guessed it I had that daunting feeling again “your going to get in a wreck”.  This premonition wasn’t like, “it hit me” out of nowhere.  This one was a more subtle feeling, but as you can imagine when any feeling like this creeps up I get a little skittish.  My plan? Stall. Change the path of fate. If I procrastinate leaving the farm maybe the feeling will go away and it wont happen because I won’t be in the right place at the wrong time.  After stalling as long as I could, I finally left and I drove very cautiously.  I made it back to the city! The scary part was over, I made it through the highway safely.  What a relief.  I was now only blocks from my apartment. I was almost home free! I decided to stop at Subway for some food.  I got my food, got back in my truck, backed up, put it in to first (it’s a manual) and BOOM! Are you kidding me? I get out and a girl in a SUV comes out of her car and says “omg, I am so sorry, I was trying to squeeze by you.”… Really? You couldn’t have waited that 2 seconds for me to go forward.  By the way, let me mention that there were cement islands behind me.  She tried to fit between my truck and the cement islands… with a SUV.  

She then said, “Oh my God, my husband is going to be so mad at me.”  I bet he would have been a little miffed because she drug her SUV along the corner of my bumper from her front fender, through both doors all the way back to the rear fender.  However, I don’t know what kind of crap lies she fed her husband or the insurance company but she must have been through this before because she convinced them it was MY FAULT!! WHAT!? Erroneous! Any logical person would understand that had I backed into her, there would be one impact area, not a drug out line as she continued to squeeze by me.  Physically it doesn’t even make sense! Ugh! Another car wreck tip: Before you get out of your car, turn on your voice recorder on your phone so whatever that person says you have on record! I’m still a little irritated with her and my insurance company for not fighting that one better. Anyways, did stalling at the farm create this accident or maybe prevent one that was supposed to be worse? Again, I don’t know.  Thankfully, this wasn’t a bad wreck either, but it was a wreck nonetheless.  

 This is getting long; lets get to the last one.  This one happened right around that same time in my life.  Laura and I were out running errands in her car.  She was driving.  Snapshot time.  We were leaving the Target off 132^nd and Maple.  We were at the light by that little trailer park, in the left turn lane.  I said “I have a feeling were going to get in a wreck.” Laura had heard my stories of this before so she this, so it freaked her a little bit and she said, “maybe you should drive”, but I had learned that I can’t stop anything.  Either its going to happen or its not, regardless of whose driving.  I responded, “No, its okay, you drive and just try to pay attention.”  We made it across town and were now heading westbound on Center Street towards 132^nd.  The light was red we came to a stop in a long line of traffic.  Traffic was inching forward as it often does when waiting at the light.  Laura started going forward but the car in front of us stood still.  I looked at her thinking she was maybe making a joke because of what I said, but I looked at her and she wasn’t joking and I said “LAURA STOP!” she looked at me and said “what?” … BANG! We hit the SUV in front of us and they hit the car in front of them.  Again, everyone was fine and luckily again it was just a fender bender.   She was upset; she said she just didn’t see it, like it just didn’t register to stop.  I’m guilty of doing that before too, thinking you’re clear to go when your not, it happens to all of us, were only human and our eyes/minds can deceive us.  Or were just simply not paying attention.

In all fairness I have had other “feelings” about car wrecks that haven’t come true.  So, what’s the difference between these times and then ones that didn’t happen? I don’t know.  That’s what makes this sixth sense stuff so hard; it can be hard to interpret.  I can say though, that usually if something in the universe or whatever you want to call it changes my “feeling” will usually subside on its own.  Another tricky aspect is separating my thoughts from that of a higher source.  For example for years, I have "seen" myself getting t-boned.  I’ve also felt like a car wreck could be the way I pass. (I’ll get into death in a different entry.)  Thankfully this hasn’t happened, but this is why this is all so complex.  Differentiating your own thoughts from those coming in from a higher source can be difficult to divide.  Did I create that t-bone image in fear or is that another premonition?  I'm not sure on that one, maybe its dependent on a series of events? I guess only God knows for sure and only time will tell.

All I can say for sure is this is my truth, my journey, and its time to journal it.  

(For more information about me, see the "About Me" tab)  

Did I Just Leave My Body?

It was another day of 5^th grade at Howard Elementary.  Today was special because it was movie day… and out-of-body experience (OBE) day!

They rolled the big fancy tube TV in on its bulky cart and placed it front and center.  Movie time, we all started shifting our desks in a horseshoe arrangement around the screen.  I can’t tell you what “edge of your seat nail bitter” was playing (clearly I wasn’t into it.) Lol! However, as I mentioned in my first entry I do have a “snapshot” of my surroundings that I can remember vividly.  It was sunny outside, the lights were off, the teacher was standing towards the back of the room closer to the windows, my desk was positioned in the back row of the cul-de-sac formation, and my “prey” was sitting a few desks over towards where all the coats hung on the wall.  She was also in the back row.  I never did tell the girl any of this.  Are you kidding, discussing such an occurrence would be like asking for a life sentence of recesses spent alone! 

Now, that I have set the scene, lets get to the meat and potatoes of the story!

I was sitting sideways in my desk. What started off as an innocent blank stare suddenly turned into something completely foreign. I no longer hear the movie and then almost like a blink of an eye, I am no longer in my body, I am in her body.  I feel her desk, I am sitting the way she is sitting, and I am seeing the TV from her vantage point.  What is this? How did I get here? Only a few moments after arriving I hear the teacher, “Allison… pay attention”.  The teachers voice distracts the girl, so she looks in my direction, but I was still in her place.  When she turned her head to look at me it seemed to be in slow motion, and for one split second I see myself sitting in my desk across the room. Then, Snap! I’m back.  Perplexed by what I just experienced and irritated at my teacher, I think. 

I’ve haven’t experienced an OBE while awake since! Thanks a lot, Teach! ha

I have astral projected (AP) before.  If you are unfamiliar Astral Projection, it’s the ability to separate your awareness from your physical body. It takes place during lucid dreaming, meditation or hallucinogenic drugs.  People report traveling to the “other side”, seeing the universe, meeting ethereal beings, learning lessons, getting guidance from higher begins. Its not always all psychedelic, sometimes people will just go to somewhere else here on earth.  Later if they go to that place physically, they report knowing their way around and knowing where everything is, since there soul has already been there.  (My Dad has had this happen before.)  Flying in dreams is said to be a sign of astral projection.  My verdict is still out on that claim, because I do a lot of flying around in my dreams and sometimes its just kind of dorky and catawampus, and doesn’t seem elegant or educational at all?  Overall, OBE/AP is a controversial subject.  Scientists can’t prove it, so they tend to dismiss it.  However, for many religions and on a spiritual level there is no question of its validity and importance.

Personally, I have experienced it during dreaming.  I have always been a vivid dreamer.  It’s a rare occurrence if I don’t remember my dreams from the previous night.  I am able to control what’s happening and change outcomes. More times than not, I am completely aware I am in a dream.   So, what are my AP experiences?  There a good amount of them, but there are a couple particular experiences that stand out.  One was not too long ago. 

I was inside of a cube… at least that’s the best I can describe it. I was traveling through a wormhole or something.  The best way I can illustrate it is by giving you a movie reference, “Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure”. Ha ha!  When they get into their phone booth and go through a roller coaster like tunnel at high speeds, seeing colors zoom by, it was kind of like that.  I was in a box  and it was opaque.  However, the faster I went the more translucent it became.  The creases were all starting to become colorful and bright, until the whole base was transparent.  I remember thinking, “For how fast I am going it’s going to get hot in here, these edges have to be hot.” When I put my hand over them to check for heat they weren’t hot but there was a warmth within the cube.  I also remember being concerned that as the surface became clearer it wouldn’t support me.  It did though. I don’t know where I was going in that box? Maybe I was just buzzing around the universe, who knows? Ha Ha!  

I once read that our souls are tethered to our bodies.  Imagine a rope connecting the physical body to the soul.

The soul can wander but it doesn’t detach until death.  This felt “correct” to me.  Many pictures of OBE depict this, like the picture above.  On that note, I’m going to come to a close.  I could talk so much more about this; it will probably arise again in a future entry. For now, I’m just trying to get through my experiences in order and then when I'm done I can delve further into specific subject matter.  Now, go take a nap and let your soul embrace the endless possibilities this world and the astral plane have to offer!

All I can say for sure is this is my truth, my journey, and its time to journal it.  

(For more information about me, see the "About Me" tab)  

 

Grandpa Is That You?

Many times in my life I have been asked “do you journal these things?” my answer was always “eh, no…” well that is until now. But let me rewind and fill you in as to why people ask me that question. 

To the best of my memory, it all started in January of 1996. That made me all of 10 and a half years old, to be exact.  All of my family was in from out of town; unfortunately they weren’t visiting for a happy reunion, but rather the passing of my Grandpa Kenny.  Now, I know your not supposed to have favorites when it comes to family… so I won’t say he was my favorite grandpa. My fathers father was a very sweet and generous man as well.  However, I will say that I had a closer “connection” with my Grandpa Kenny (my mothers father). Either way, I share fond memories of both grandparents.  I digress… back to the story.

We were busy with your typical funeral activities; food, crying, the wake/visitation, crying, food, the burial, crying, and more food. This particular experience took place after the visitation. 

It was now evening and some of my uncles were at my house.  My cousin Shealee and I were in our pajamas, in my bedroom, sitting on the bed. I can't say exactly what we were discussing, but I’m sure it was about my grandpa in some context. I CAN tell you how we were sitting, what positions we were on the bed, and the arrangement of my bedroom furniture.  (This snapshot memory of my surroundings will be a signature sign for similar future events… of course I didn’t know that yet). 

As we sat there talking, I suddenly stopped.  I was caught off guard by a sudden punch to the face of distinct aroma.  I said, “Do you smell that?”… Shealee paused, “No, smell what?” I repeated, “You don’t smell anything?”  The smell was so potent and clear to me. She looked at me with a confused curiosity. We continued to stared at each other and I said “I think I smell grandpa.” (I must add for my own reminder and general clarification, my grandpa didn’t have a signature scent, no particular cologne or cigarette smoke, nothing of the sort.  But, being the first hard death I encountered in my life, I remember the smell of him when I saw him in the casket. A bit morbid, I know. I am sure if you have been to a wake/visitation you know the smell I am referencing. That is the smell that hit me.)  A short pause joined with a blank stare at each other and then 3…2…1… BANG! Like horses at the racetrack we took off running out of the room. We ran to my mom in terror.  We told her what happened and she said calmly, “well maybe he was just coming to tell you hello and let you know he’s still with you”.  We slowly made our way back to my bedroom. Warily, we entered the room, apologized for running out so abruptly and invited him to come back.  The smell never did come back, however, I don’t think he ever really left.  Honestly, I imagine him up in heaven laughing at us.  It makes me smile when I think about it. 

Now, for all the nay sayers and skeptics.  I assure you I myself am a HUGE skeptic and I’M the one experiencing these things! As much as our logical and analytical minds crave explanation and proof, I can’t provide that; I wish I could.  I can say I don’t automatically make every sudden or odd occurrence an “intuitive” experience. I always search for logical explanation first.  Finally, I am not one to deceive, I don’t even like pulling pranks on people.  So that's not my agenda either.  I am an extremely honest person, almost to a fault.

So here’s my analogy on this one. Could I have just smelt him/that scent off our clothes from being at the funeral home?  No, we were already changed into clean pajamas and had been home for quite some time.  Was there a breeze in my room?  Did anyone in funeral home clothes walk by? No, neither.  We were sitting still on the bed, no breeze and no one walked through the room or down the adjoining hall.  Why the visitation scent? Seems a little unpleasant, right? Well, I get the “feeling” that since my grandpa didn’t have a signature scent, smelling something else could have been confusing and more easily overlooked, whereas the scent from the visitation would be distinct.   

This visit wouldn’t be the last from my sweet grandpa.  Here are a couple more examples. The next year in August (1997) my cousin Shanning was born.  When she was a few years old (toddler age, can’t say exactly) her family was going through old pictures and ran across a picture of my Grandpa Kenny.  My uncle explained to his daughter that this was her grandpa but that he lived in heaven now.  She replied with something along the lines of,  “I met him, he held me when I was in mommy’s tummy”.  Talk about goosebumps! My grandpa has also debuted multiple times in my dreams as well as some other spirits… but we will get to those stories later.

So that’s where this all began.  I am almost 29 now and have years of stories with premonitions, hearing, seeing, sensing events and spirits, healings, out of body experiences and astral projections. I hid these things for a long time and there were times when some of these things scared me.  I now embrace these events and am trying to learn how to control them better.  I'm like a sponge I'm trying to learn as much about this as I can.  I feel like this my purpose in life.  I want to share it with people and help them if I can.  I have learned a lot but I still have so much more to learn.  I am no Theresa Caputo, Rebecca Rosen, or James Van Praagh and I don’t claim to be, at least not yet ;) I have high expectations for this gift and myself.  

All I can say for sure is this is my truth, my journey, and its time to journal it.  

(For more information about me, see the "About Me" tab)